Okay, so maybe I don’t ‘hate’ cars, but I do dislike how utterly relied upon mine has become. Let me tell you a story, or two, or three. A long time ago, in a far away place… Oh, wait, that’s not right.
FRIDAY FEBRUARY 22, 2013
It was a miserably cold, wet/snowy afternoon. I was finally free for the weekend! Hooray, the only thing left to do was make it out of the parking lot and head for home! Now, here’s the thing about my parking lot at work. Normally it is a quiet place, nothing to worry about…until 5pm hits…then all hell breaks loose! Everyone makes a mad dash for their cars, and if you aren’t fast enough you are dodging speeding vehicles jockeying for position to be first out of the lot.
I made it! In one piece, carefully pulled out of my spot and got to the lineup at the exit. I felt like it took forever just to get out onto the road. Headed for a stop sign and awaited my chance to turn right onto the highway. When I finally saw my opening, I gunned it out of there…but wait, ‘something’s wrong!?!’ I got half way around the corner and….nothing. Car stops dead, won’t start..’what the?!?’
Oh yeah, apparently cars need gas! I would’ve filled it, however my gas gauge has been broken for a year now. I’ve been relying solely on my trip meter, once it gets to 350kms I know I am close to needing a fill-up. ‘Wait, what’s that? The trip meter only says 352kms, there’s no way!’ Then I remember. A friend borrowed my car three weeks ago. He took it out of town, and when he returned he re-filled the tank to full, but didn’t know how to reset the trip meter. He said he did some minor running around and I figured it was okay to reset when I got the car back…apparently that was a bad idea.
Now, my car is sitting halfway around a corner, my husband is not answering the phone, and there’s a transport truck wanting to turn right….Fantastic! People are driving past honking at me, the transport driver is honking at me as he just nearly misses the rear end of my car, and what’s this? Now people are giving me the finger, like I can just snap my fingers and make the car move!
With the last bit of battery power in my cell I text the sitter to say I’m going to be late and call my friend, ‘please pick up, please pick up….’
“Mander! Ya just caught me on my way out of town! What’s up?” Carl sounds slightly concerned, I only ever call his wife, never him. I explain my situation, half in tears. He says he’s on his way, with gas…whew… ‘what to do now?’ I need to get my car the frick of the road!
I look around and around, finally it hits me, “hey you! In the bus stop! Could you help me push my car over to the shoulder.” He doesn’t look like much, but we’ll have to make this work! So, it’s less-than-fit me and the skinny white boy, “1-2-3 PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSHHH!” And nothing happens…”did you put it in Neutral?” Asks skinny white boy.
“Did you just ask me that? Of course I put it in neutral!” One of my co-workers has now pulled to the side of the road to help…she’s in about the same shape as me. I put Nina at the front of the car to steer, whilst me and the stranger are pushing for all we’re worth…the car moves! A half inch.
Nina comes around to the back of the car, “I’ll just jump in my car and gently nudge your car off to the side, you get in the driver seat and put her in neutral when ya see me coming!” This seems like a really bad idea to me, but what other option do I have right now? No one else seems to be stopping, even though just one more person could get the job done.
Nina is just about in her car, when FINALLY another co-worker stops…great, it’s my supervisor, this isn’t embarrassing at all! After she is done laughing at me (no worries, I’m laughing now too), we put Nina back at the front and between the four of us manage to get the car pushed onto the shoulder and out of harm’s way.
Everyone gets an ever so grateful hug from me and they all depart, leaving me…alone…with a car that won’t start. Five minutes later Carl shows up, without gas.
“So, do you have a jerry can?” Apparently Carl doesn’t keep his in the SUV because his wife lost the cap. I advise that I do not have one, so we hop into his vehicle and head to his house.
Half an hour later we are back at my vehicle with his uncapped jerry can, after driving down the road with windows wide open. Might I remind you it was a miserably cold, wet evening. Carl pumps the gas into my car, and I start her up. “Thank you so much! Put the can in my trunk and I’ll drop it at your house so you can get going on your trip.” I pop the trunk and to my surprise there’s an empty jerry can just sitting there, waiting to be used. Wow, I could’ve saved us twenty minutes! Damnit all anyways!
Carl leaves and I pull off onto the highway, my car dings once CHANGE OIL SOON. ‘Okay, I can handle that, something I can do this weekend.’ I head straight for the nearest gas station and make the tank happy once again. I start heading for home and the car dings again LOW WASHER FLUID. ‘Are you F-ing kidding me!?! How thirsty can one car be?’
I gave up, I headed for home and hibernated for the remainder of the evening. Good thing I didn’t have to make dinner.
SATURDAY FEBRUARY 23, 2013
Hubby informs me that due to extenuating cash-flow circumstances I will have to wait one more week before I can get an oil change. ‘No problem’ I think, ‘I can at least find her some washer fluid.’ So, I run off to pick up my friend Sally for our weekly coffee date and mall jaunt.
We head to Tim’s first, gotta get that roll-up cup, then to wander the mall! We end our window shopping and our coffees at Canadian Tire. While there to purchase washer fluid, I happen to notice that there is a $60 frying pan on sale for $15, “I’m not leaving that behind!” I say. While trying to find one that does not have a scratch in the teflon coating, I set my coffee down. We proceed to pick up the washer fluid and head to the checkout. It is not until I am halfway home that I realize, “I left my coffee on the shelf and didn’t roll up the rim!” Oh man! Well, I hope whoever finds it rolls the rim and wins something.
~TO BE CONTINUED~